“As my wife Tammi and son Joshua have heard me say many times — and some of you too — my college years were among the best four years of my life. If I could’ve been a professional student forever, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat.
But what made college so life-giving wasn’t the classes or even the freedom—it was community.
- Professors knew my name.
- Friends packed into dorm lounges for late-night debates.
- We wrestled through tough assignments together.
- We went on spontaneous road trips to Vegas, Lake Havasu, or Westwood.
- We fell in love with musicals, ate street tacos, and shared real life.
And then, after four years, we all left. The rich, daily rhythms of that formative community became just a memory.
It didn’t fade because we didn’t care. It faded because we entered a world shaped by six powerful forces working against true community:
Six Modern Forces That Undermine Community
1. Busyness
We fill our calendars to the brim. Intentional relational connection takes time—and all the enemy has to do is keep us too busy to notice we’re isolated.
2. Transience
We relocate for jobs, rising rents, or gentrification. Career often trumps community. Constant movement weakens roots.
3. Digital Distraction
We’re physically present but emotionally checked out. Our screens blur the lines between connection and isolation.
4. Flakiness
Technology makes it easy to cancel or ghost. We prioritize how we feel in the moment over long-term commitment to others.
5. Declining Relational Skills
Studies show emotional intelligence is dropping by 5% each year. We’re losing the ability to go deep—and stay connected.
6. Shame
This is the most hidden, and most damaging. Shame whispers: “I am unlovable. I don’t belong. No one wants me.”
Genesis 2:25 describes a world before sin: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Once sin entered, so did hiding, blaming, and disconnection.
But here’s the truth:
God says, “You are my masterpiece. You are chosen. You are forgiven. You are loved.”
Jesus frees us from shame—but that freedom grows in community.
How do we resist these forces?
With Confession.
Not just confession to God in private, but confession with trusted people. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Alcoholics Anonymous captures this well:
“We are only as sick as the secrets we keep.”
Key Takeaway:
Confession is one of the core functions of Christian Community. If you want to grow spiritually, you have to be real—with yourself, with God, and with one another. That’s how we overcome sin and shame. That’s how we build the kind of Community that changes lives.
And that’s what Jesus’ Church is meant to be.”