by Pastor David Oyadomari

Question

How do we deal with broken relationships?

Reflection

When a relationship breaks, something inside us breaks too. The memories remain, words that were said (or unsaid) linger, walls rise, and those unhealed pieces can quietly shape who we become.

What someone did (not just who they are now) can cause hidden scars, and as a result, we might find ourselves more guarded or distant. Ultimately, we never ever truly “walk away” from a broken relationship without some kind of consequence, and sadly, some of us try to bury the hurt from these bonds in hopes of not feeling the repercussions. However, the pain is still there, shaping how we trust, love, and live.

Dealing with relationships means true healing needs to occur, and that type of healing begins with forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential because from it comes freedom from emotional and psychological pain. Being able to forgive another releases the emotional and spiritual tie that keeps us stuck in the past.

But how do we find the strength to forgive someone who doesn’t apologize or even care to find a resolution to a dissolved relationship? This type of strength cannot be drummed up by our own strength, rather, strength to forgive comes from a Creator that can provide freedom to forgive. In the Christian faith, forgiveness begins with God because He recognizes that we are not perfect and need guidance and help in learning how to ask for and receive forgiveness. When we truly recognize God’s ability to instill genuine freedom and understanding in our hearts, we then have the capacity to extend true forgiveness to others from a place of gratitude and not merely from a place of duty.

One important note is that forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation or forgetting about the strained relationship. Some relationships remain distant, and that’s okay. Healing is not about forcing closeness or to push all memories out of our minds. Rather, true forgiveness is about freeing our hearts from bitterness so that when we forgive, we make space for peace to grow where pain once lived. We may still remember what happened, but it will no longer define who we are.

Takeaway

You don’t heal from a broken relationship by ignoring it or pretending the bond didn’t happen. Rather, you heal by choosing freedom and forgiveness over resentment.

Your soul deserves forgiveness, and forgiveness is the quiet work of mending what has been torn. It’s how love begins to grow again, even in the places that once felt beyond repair.